“Different”

I remember as a child having some sense of security, learning about slavery and how things are “different” now. Then, as a young adult I started having my own experiences to know that things were definitely not “different”. I remembered saying that I would never bring children into this mean, cruel, and unjust world (for people like me). Then I asked myself, why would I deny myself the privilege to raise children who would be an extension of myself with even more wisdom because of me being able to pour what I learn into them. After all, things won’t remain the same. Things will eventually be “different” by the time they’re adults. Then that “different” day never happens and you watch as people who are commissioned to serve and protect use their badges as their “get out of jail free” card to justify assassinating people who look like me. Then, I turn and look at the pictures on my walls of those hopeful, ambitious souls that I was allowed to bring into this world, and then the many nephews, nieces, and now grandchildren and great-niece who all look like me. They have to be trained differently to go out into the world. They have to be hyper vigilant in staying off the radar. They’re sent out into a war zone daily with no hope in sight of a “different” tomorrow. 

So, for this generation coming up…although I pray that my sons, nephews, nieces, grandchildren, and great-niece are successful, law abiding, productive people in society. I find that my prayer has shifted a bit lately, and I can’t help it. I pray now that they don’t encounter a racist today on a mission to take a black life. I pray that the color of their skin isn’t a threat to someone where it costs them their life. I pray I never get that call or that visit telling me one of them is no longer with us. I pray for those who harbor hate in their hearts for people just because of the color of their skin. 

Some might say, “Where’s your faith?”

I have faith and I put my trust in God. That’s why I pray. Not out of fear, but to stay connected to the One who gives us all free will. I just pray “different”.